Excerpt 2

INT. MOVIE THEATER – NIGHT

Fans pile into seats. Victor and Nathan find a row that’s a decent distance from the screen, but are forced to sit on the end of the row by the aisle next to a GUY and his GIRLFRIEND. The guy leans over.

GUY
Hey, you mind saving these seats for us? We’re going to go get some popcorn.

VICTOR
Sure, man, go ahead.

GUY
Thanks.

They stand up and lay their COATS down on their seats and leave. Nathan smiles, nudges Victor, and points.

NATHAN
Hey, look, it’s Brian.

A man dressed in a BOBA FETT SUIT stands by the door next to the SECURITY GUY. Victor shakes his head.

VICTOR
Brian had a better suit than that when he was twelve.

Nathan giggles.

NATHAN
Yeah, he does kind of look like a tool.

VICTOR
Boba Fett’s a tool. I don’t know what Brian sees in him.

NATHAN
Maybe it’s because he’s a rule-breaker. Like Brian.

VICTOR
But he’s not. He works for the Empire. He might just be the biggest tool in the galaxy. Sure he’s got the cool mask, but in the end, he’s just a pawn for the Man.

The SECURITY BOBA FETT cheesily directs fan traffic through pantomime.

VICTOR (CONT’D)
What a sell-out. If only Brian were here to see this garbage.

Suddenly, TWO JERKS PLOP down into the seats next to them, THROWING on the floor the coats that were lying there. The FIRST JERK turns to Victor and gives him the double “Slayer” hand gesture.

FIRST JERK
REVENGE OF THE SITH!!!

VICTOR
Hey, man, those seats were saved.

FIRST JERK
What do you mean?

VICTOR
What I said. Those seats were saved. You can’t just butt in and take them.

FIRST JERK
Why not?

VICTOR
You just can’t!

At this moment, the Guy and his Girlfriend return with their POPCORN.

GUY
Hey, I thought you were going to save those!

VICTOR
I’m trying!

NATHAN
They just got here.

FIRST JERK
First come, first serve!

VICTOR
Yeah, and they were here first!

GUY
Would you please move?

FIRST JERK
Who’s going to make me?

A FAN SITTING BEHIND THEM
C’mon, give the guy his seat back.

ANOTHER FAN
Yeah!

The First Jerk mimics a lightsaber sound and gives everybody the DOUBLE DEUCE (two-handed finger) in a slow sweeping motion. This infuriates the crowd and everybody starts standing and yelling.

FAN
Get him out of here!

ANOTHER FAN
Calm down everybody!

YET ANOTHER FAN
Throw him out!

VICTOR
Will you just give them their seats!

LOUD VOICE (O.S.)
EXCUSE ME!!!

The crowd immediately falls silent. The voice belongs to the SECURITY BOBA FETT, who steps through the crowd and appears at their row.

SECURITY BOBA FETT
(in a bad Australian accent)
Is there a problem here?

Victor rolls his eyes and slumps back into his chair.

VICTOR
Oh brother…